Posted on November 9, 2016
Back in 2012 the shareholders took control of my romantic life and using modern technology they completely changed my life by leading me into a romantic relationship with Marijke.
Shortly after meeting Marijke she became a shareholder. She has participated actively in the KmikeyM project since then, once even crashing the market in order to exercise her options at a low price - possibly her grandest romantic gesture to date. The shareholders approved our cohabitation and the contractual terms of our relationship. When I tried to sneak permission to ask for marriage in the fine print of a larger issue, the shareholders voted overwhelmingly against it, a clear sign that the end to shareholder control of my romantic life can be granted only by the shareholders.
Today I am excited to come to the shareholders with the most important shareholder proposal yet. Should I ask Marijke to marry me? The shareholders have successfully guided me in finding the most amazing and beautiful woman I’ve ever met, so it’s only prudent that I should heed their advice on taking the next step.
I expect the shareholders will have a lot of questions about this proposal proposal. What does it mean for a publicly traded person to propose to a privately held person? It’s not an acquisition. Perhaps a merger of sorts? Should there be a pre-nup? What about kids? Does the life of a publicly traded person include marriage? These are all questions we will puzzle out together, and I’m sure that in the instance the shareholders recommend we marry, Marijke and I will continue to turn to the them whenever we’re stuck on a decision (for example, what color to paint the house).
A proposal for marriage is a triumphant conclusion to the shareholders' involvement in my romantic life. Through good times and bad the shareholders have been there to advise and direct me. I am a better person, and boyfriend, because of them. If this proposal passes I’m sure they will also make me a better husband.