Shareholder Control of Romantic Relationships

Posted on April 17, 2012


Boy meets girl, boy is less productive. It's a tale as old as time.

Under normal circumstances, no one is going to complain when someone is buying flowers or going out to dinner and a movie. But as a publicly traded person with a responsibility of productivity to the shareholders, we live under special circumstances.

It's been about 10 months since our romantic break-up with Shareholder No. 7 and it seems prudent to set up the conditions under which we might enter future romantic relationships. It is spring after all, and as Tennyson says, "In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love."

A relationship is likely to affect both the productivity and the output of KmikeyM. The quantity and quality of movies, articles, music, and other media we consume will be affected, as will the nature of our personal time. Given the invisible power in a romantic relationship, the shareholders should have some control over the selection or approval of any possible romantic partner(s).

There are many ways this could work, but this proposal is only asking if the shareholders want the responsibility of who we should date. A Yes vote will result in further shareholder communication about how they will influence, control, or advise us on potential romances. A No vote will result in no shareholder control of our romantic life.